i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize