My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
