Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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