There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
