So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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