so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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