Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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