Me. At least after what I've been through.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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