It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We need to rekindle our bromance
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
