I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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