I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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