Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
