Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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