Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
