I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
