Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I enjoy the company of your penis
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
