think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dicks are not precious.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
