OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
