Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
