i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
