i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My pussy is not your playground.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Randomize
