my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize