I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
