Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
