god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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