bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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