C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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