He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
