He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize