Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
