When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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