2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
