I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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