Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
only if we run a train.
done.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
