Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
