I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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