dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
