oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
where am i from again
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
