see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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