some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
