Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
