The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
