Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
my liver is dry heaving
we're so committed to being not committed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
