She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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