btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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