in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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