This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't make out with my wife yet
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize