I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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