Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
