eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
