I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
