i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
