You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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