I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
