I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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