i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
