He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
