It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
